“Victim” is NOT your color: Part One – The Pinball Experience

Pinball.  You ever played it?  Ever seen a real-life pinball machine?  I ask because I realize that my audience is diverse, and these game machines aren’t as popular as they once were; replaced with the high-tech interactive games that kids and adults enjoy today.  So if this photo is foreign to you, let me try to explain the premise of the game.

To the right sits a pinball that you propel into play with a spring-loaded “trigger”, if you will.  The ball reaches the top of the table, and is then bounced and moved from one noisy lighted stimuli to another as you “work” to keep it moving about.  You have very little control over what’s happening to the ball, save for two “flippers” near the bottom of the table that can keep you from losing your ball down a black hole and ending your game.  Your heart beats fast as you watch your ball moving quickly about, bouncing around and collecting points based on where it lands.  It’s all a game of chance, though I can remember as a kid, watching older, stronger people attempt to physically “man-handle” the machine in an effort to move the ball in the direction they wanted.  That behavior usually resulted in a “tilt”; the machine’s way of saying, “hey, you can’t do that”, and you’d lose your turn, or even worse, end your game altogether.  It wasn’t until I began studying behavior patterns in people that I saw a beautiful parallel; many of you live your life just like that pinball.

You wake up each morning and propel yourself into play.  I’ve seen some of you in the mornings; not everyone’s “propel” is at the same furious pace…just sayin’.  You put yourself into the action, you join the day for whatever it has to bring.  You don’t really care what that is; you expect that it’s going to be much like the day before.  You’re bounced from stimulus to stimulus and you provide reaction after reaction.  You mindlessly depend on habit to navigate your way.  There’s no thought given to where you’re headed, and no control either.  You’re driven by adrenaline, and your “fight or flight” kicks in more often than it should.  You continue this way, and often don’t make a true decision until you’re pushed to a place of feeling forced to choose.  You engage your “flippers” as a last resort, and often end your day with a “tilted” feeling of your own.  Is this not a perfect illustration?  Thank you, I thought so too.

So how can you not live your life like a pinball?  I’m glad you asked!  You evolve from pinball to powerful, via choices.  Sometimes it means choosing to do something; sometimes it’s choosing not to do something.  You take back control of your life of chance when you exert your power of choice into the equation.  Easy, right?  Yes, and no.  It’s an easy premise that requires dedicated intention.  Choosing means that it’s necessary for you to be informed.  Choosing asks that you rise above many negative situations that try to suck you in.  Choosing identifies you as the one in charge and accountable.

I used to have a boss who would tell me, “don’t bring me your problem, bring me your solution”; meaning, don’t come tell me what’s wrong, tell me how you’re going to fix it!  I learned that I was more respected as a problem solver than just a problem identifier.  Anyone can look at a situation and tell you what’s wrong with it; it’s the person with a vision for a solution, and the personal responsibility and desire to achieve it, who will overcome and solve it.

Nobody likes a whiner who constantly complains about the same problems day in and day out, right?  As a coach, I encounter folks who can tell me all about how they’ve been victimized in their lives, how it continues to this day, and how they’ve tried “everything”, but they’ve just resolved themselves to “this just must be how I’m supposed to live”.  Really?  So what have you tried, exactly?  How long did you implement this change into your life? It must not have been very long, or you wouldn’t have found yourself back at square one!  You will keep your credibility intact and the victim mindset far away when you not only recognize better choices, but implement them consistently.

Folks, power over your life isn’t something you do once, or just in the mornings, or just at work.  Living intentionally is a lifestyle choice.  See, there’s that word again.  CHOICE.  You start with baby steps of simple things like waking up in a good mood versus grumpy.  Being thankful for the pile of work you have, because it demonstrates that you’re useful and needed; enjoying a surprise treat from a friend rather than second guessing their motives.  It’s about using your energy for the things that benefit you and move you forward; not the things that keep you stagnant.  Don’t give your power away to people or things outside your control.

Stay present and stay positive.  When you begin to make better choices, you’ll find you get better results and you begin a momentum, a “sweet spot” that no longer leaves your valuable life to chance.